We Love the Concept Not the Person - A Question

Yesterday in the middle of Jakarta's traffic, my friend Andin, asked me a question. Not just a question but she wants me to elaborate the answer and my opinion about it.

"You know what, I always tell this to people who think they are in love with me, I am not a concept. I want you to just keep that in your head. Too many people think I am a concept or I complete them or I am going to make them alive, but I am just a fucked-up woman who is looking for my own peace of mind. Do not assign me yours. I destroyed everything I touched."

"What is on your mind when you read that?"

I feel like rolling my eyes in a sudden. What a question I said. I need a few minutes in silence and then trying to elaborate.

"What? Note that last sentence. I think it's being contradictive with the first one," she demands my opinion.

"Please a minute."

So here is my answer, "First, you mentioned about 'I complete them' or whatsoever like that. In the end, you are just a woman whom mess with everything she touched (?). Okay..."

"I know right. Ambiguous,"

"Yup. I understand,"

Sometimes people are not in love with the subject (in the form of human being or a person). They love the concept of the one who will make them completed and fulfilled. So, basically they are in love with a shadow or the expectations they created themselves. Like a mirror. They set their standard and expectations higher about that person just like they want it to be. Then, things go in opposite. Doomed. Dissapointment. A concept they made in fact is just as human being as them. He/she is not perfect, still good but has flaws. Then, they realise it beyonds their expectations.

"... and it crushed them."

"Exactly. It may have not fulfilled all their needs -uhm, their wants I think- so, if we are not ready... chaos."

"What the..."

Mind blown. I feel like I need to having some beers afterward.

"Fuuuu... what an answer. I've got drunk."

"Don't ask a Libran next time... But, that was brilliant. It challenged me. I will ask someone else later if I'm going to date him."

"It's a must."

"Then, I'll be ready to dumped because of it. But of course I will choose the person who can elaborate the answer very well."

***



Butuh mimik lucu, nih, abis nulis postingan begini sembari ingat-ingat lagi persisnya. Ya gimana, enggres semua. Bingung, kak, kalau diterjemahkan ke bahasa Indonesia, lha wong dia nanyanya juga ngenggres. Ngelatih nulis gak apa-apa lah ya. *alasan* Sebuah percakapan sok serius antara dua orang - satu berdiri di bus Transjakarta penuh sesak, yang lain mungkin lagi ngadem di kantor. *tepuk tangan* :D Oh, itu "fuuu..." sengaja diganti karena aslinya Andin bilang "bangsyadh...." dan teman-temannya. Nanti blog ini jadi nggak cerdas berbahasa dan berbudaya lagi. *iki opo toh, cuk?*

Oh ya, nganu, tolong dimaafkan ya para pembaca *emang ada yang baca?* kalau grammar-nya ngawur. Tapi percayalah tidak ada andil Google translate di sini. Kasihan, kalau dia selalu disalahkan sama orang-orang. Jadi, salahkan aku saja, mz dan mb. :(

Lo mabok? Sama. Gue apalagi. :D

Giant Leap

Contemplation. I have to struggling with my own mind about some things lately. Things that didn't go way I expected to be, another storms, and else. Sometimes the best thing I can do is stay away for a while, take a sit and take a deep breath - let my minds wandering around to some probabilities or other.

One day in the morning, I have been on the edge of my limit. I somehow being too hard on myself all this time. Tried to please everyone and too much overthink about other's opinion toward me, so I forgot how to appreciate myself and everything I should prioritize. The whole of my life. Hence I made a decision.

People come and go. Sometimes it is not a big deal to let people out of our life. Our past exactly taught us how to survive and deal with it, a friend told me. I think it's better than "I am okay. We will be fine. Our friendship, too" and one day you found out that things are go in opposite, either they removed all the contacts or avoid you and your presence(s). I just want to make it simple. If you want to stay, stay. I appreciate it. If you are not, I happily to let you and say goodbye. No heart feeling, since I learned a lot -in time- about acceptance. I cannot force someone whom never want to stay. Though I knew, that the choices could affected them too. I take this as a leap into my next chapter. My journey.

As a friend of mine said, life has its own way to get you there. Everything is in the universe connected somehow. The choices we make, the decisions, the chances, the path we take on our way home, even words we spoken could change the whole things. Not only our own life would affected, other's too. Go with the flows. We are in a big "wait and see" game.



See you in another crossroad, then. :)