Morning Talk

You and I - we - used to be Us. We have ended our relationship - the commitment, dreams, everything - a month ago but still we share the same house, same room, and same bed until today. Under the blanket we talk about everything like nothing wrong.

"When will you move out?"

"I don't know. Maybe the end of this month. Why? You want to?"

"No. I go afterward and make sure you're okay overthere."

Yes, we agreed to separate to each other. A new house, new life, and new beginning. We are trying to negate each other's presence. You know what? It was really really hard for the first time but we did it. I'm getting used to doing things by myself. Mall-hopping, going to cinemas, eating out, solo trip, and else. And you, I have known that you always go out with that someone new - him - I mean your new boyfriend indeed.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere. I just want to be here at this moment. Enjoying my solitude."

"But.."

"It's okay. You can contact me anytime."

Then he fell asleep on my lap. I don't know. It feels like our chemistry still there. That sparks I always feel in my heart. Maybe we're still have the same feeling. I kissed his forehead as usual and stroked that eyebrows to calm him down. I hugged tighter. We were meant to be - and always will.

"Hey, you have to go to office. Don't be late." He looked at my eyes, "why?"

"You know, I still love you. But I have to acknowledge the reality, the facts that I am not your lover anymore."

He hug me even tighter and stroked my hair, "I know," he said.

"I wish nothing but your happiness eventhough that doesn't count me in. I am really sorry for everything. Our fights, debates, being rude. We've been through tough days before. I'm tired."

"Me too."

Suddenly he asked me something. A question that makes me struggle all this time, "Will you promise me - you will not doing bad to him?" I lost my words in second. I just smile, realizing he has been replaced me with that person. I wonder if I ever cross his mind. At least for once? People say we can not replace someone with someone else even if we love them both.

"I don't know. You know, it was really hard. But yeah I will try... my best."

But, that doesn't mean I promise you. There is something you don't understand right now. In time you will. I hate him. That's it. I just need a time to heal the wound and forget the scar I have to dealing with.

"I will NOT doing bad and any harm to him. Someday, he will meet me up when everything's get better. I believe that. Fate."

We kissed on lips. Gently. May be the last one. That moment I have to hide my teary-eyed and smiled widely. I hugged him. We already created the best moment to remember. Remember us, remember love.

"I love you, Gie.."

***

Jakarta, September 2014. 7.00am, a lazy Friday morning. Just you and I.